Trading spaces (gratitude for my body)

We all do it as women. Admit it your body is underappreciated if not despised. We complain about minor and major details and get those confused all the time. :) We wish we were taller, shorter, thinner, curvier, bigger boobs, smaller boobs, etc.

Last night I had an interesting dream about my body. In my dream I wasn't in my body any more but another body. It was everything I had ever wished for...I was shorter, curvier, had large breasts and a nice rump buttox and I was miserable! The world looked different being shorter and I longer for my normal view. I felt disconnected with my body and we were not in unison. Every movement that usually flowed out of me easily felt awkward. I longed for my long limbs and to be able to really reach my arms out. Something I rarely do for fear of "taking up too much space." I didn't feel like me.

I worried about connecting with my family in the same way I once did. This wasn't a fear of them recognizing me it was somehow known to me that they wouldn't know me as any different, as if they had forgotten my old body; but I hadn't, and I wondered how my looks and mannerisms might change our relationship. Something that had never occurred to me in my waking hours. Not in the same sense at least.

What stuck out the most was my longing for my old body back, for that connection we have. We have been together a long time after all. I have always felt as if I looked like a man with my small breasts and my height but I longed to be tall and thin again. I longed to feel my own walk again. I longed for my small but round butt and suddenly appreciated the looks of my own bottom. I missed the way it felt to be me and me and my body felt so intertwined, I lost myself when I lost my body.

I woke up intrigued. Grateful to have a body that moves with such ease. Grateful for my health and even my looks. I am who I am, I look the way I look, I got this body for a lifetime and so I might as well enjoy it.

Thanks body for everything you do. For the abuse you put up with on a daily basis, for the love you share and for the children you bare. :) I'll try to be more grateful to you in the future.