Academic Advantage

It's funny the different perspectives on homeschooling. When I was younger most of the speculation about homeschooling was that if you were homeschooled you must be socially awkward. I think some people even thought there was some kind of secret that we must have been keeping. Now that I am homeschooling as a mom there is still that speculation and concern from society about whether or not your children are being socialized but on the other side of the coin is an assumption. The assumption I have encountered is that since I am homeschooling my kids they must be geniuses or that it is my intention to make them so but that isn't how it started for me. In fact, my kids are currently behind their grade level expectations set by the state. I sometimes get caught up worrying about them being behind but then I have to remind myself. I didn't homeschool to achieve an academic advantage.

I decided to homeschool first on a prompting and as time went on I saw thought patterns and habits in my children that I wanted to address, thought patterns and habits that I might not have noticed had they been in public school and only home for a short time. Or I would have noticed but blamed some outside source for their struggles. With them being homeschooled if something is wrong in their world I automatically look at our patterns at home before I let my mind wander anywhere else. This is where they are most of the time so it's most likely there is something right here at home that is bothering them. There are times when my child will do or say something that "gives us away". That let's the rest of the world know that we are lagging behind academically. When it's in front of family or friends I cringe. I wonder what assumptions they might be making about my "mistake deciding to homeschool" or I wonder what concerns they now have about my children falling behind.

It's in those moments that I lose sight of my why and I worry about their judgment. If I give in to the fear of failure I suddenly lose my edge as their mother who is divinely guided. When I give in to the fear of failure I suddenly become much more likely to fail. I start to worry about others understanding me and my motives. I start to wish that they could see my vision but instead of adhering to my vision more firmly I start to take on theirs in hopes that I will gain their favor. The problem is; is that I can't raise my children to everyone else's expectations. While one mother would choose public school for her reasons another might choose homeschooling for her reasons but just because a mother is homeschooling doesn't mean we would automatically agree on how to approach it. Their are as many ways to homeschool as their are people. So in trying to find favor with those who disagree with me and my choices I actually lose my competitive edge and along with it my vision and my reason (or my why). 

Is there an academic advantage to homeschooling? Of course. My favorite academic advantage is that your child can study what he or she is interested in. The love of learning stays alive.

One of my twins caught a dragonfly. Look at how intrigued they are!

Then there is the more obvious advantage which is the child to teacher ratio. When you have 1 child to 1 mother or even 4 children to 1 mother compared to 30 students to 1 teacher there is an obvious advantage right there. You are better able to see specifically what it is a child is struggling with, tailor to his or her needs and make it enjoyable for him or her. As a mother you love your child and you want him or her to have every chance to succeed so you work really hard at getting your child the resources he or she needs. As a mother you are able to see the whole child and you are able to know why your child is struggling with math or reading. Whether it be lack of exposure, lack of interest, lack of confidence or that he hates the books you are reading. In time you can tell. So you will know whether your child needs to read more or take a step back. Sometimes improving academics has nothing to do with academics and a lot more to do with emotions and security. That's why I am homeschooling.

As my children have struggled with reading I have watched them in other areas of their lives. I have watched where their confidence grows strong and where it starts to wane. In time I realized that they weren't emotionally ready to tackle reading; at least not at the level we were currently pursuing it. I needed to give them more opportunities to succeed academically and to dare to take a guess when they weren't sure of the answer. So while they are gaining confidence I am working hard on my own confidence in trusting my maternal instinct and trusting the learning process. I trust that my kids want to learn, that their soul yearns for more knowledge and wisdom and it's my job to make sure I don't crush that natural desire. In short, I just need to get out of the way and let things happen. I am realizing that a lot of things in life go smoother when we get our ego out of the way and when we do things for the sake of doing the right thing. Not to look better or to gain others acceptance but just because it's what we do because it's who we are and it's what we feel needs to be done.

Do I appreciate the academic advantage that comes with homeschooling? Absolutely, but mostly I appreciate the independence and that they are able to become their best selves in these formative years. That they are able to find who they are, what they stand for, what talents and visions they have and in time they can share their visions and talents with the world. In short, I homeschool mostly for the emotional and spiritual advantage of homeschooling.